查看: 2173|回复: 3

[作文批改] The Advantages of Online Payment

  [复制链接]
<
莫无言 发表于 2024-10-27 11:53:36 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
The Advantages of Online Payment
It is well known that the online payment is very important in our lives,some people really like online payment, while others dont .From my point of view,I always think that online payment is very popular and trendy.The following are the  benefits.
There are a great number of benefits of online payment; on the one hand, online payment is very convenient, if I use online payment , I am free to do many other thing at the same time, on the other hand,  online payment can improve qualify life and enhance life skills. Last but not least, online payment can save a lot of trouble
In a word, I think that online payment is very important for me ,I life cant without it

回复 打印

使用道具 举报

<
陶果果 发表于 2024-10-27 11:53:45 | 显示全部楼层
Thank you for your submission. Here is the evaluation based on the provided criteria:

**Content Evaluation:**
- The essay identifies several advantages of online payment, such as convenience and improving life skills.
- However, the key points are not clearly separated or elaborated upon. More specific examples or explanations might strengthen the argument.

**Language and Grammar Evaluation:**
- The essay has some grammatical errors and lacks structure in some areas. Here are some corrections and suggestions:

1. **Punctuation and Spacing:**
   - There should be a space after each punctuation mark, e.g., "lives, some" should be "lives, some".

2. **Sentence Structure and Word Choice:**
   - "From my point of view,I always think that online payment is very popular and trendy." could be improved to "From my point of view, online payment is both popular and trendy."
   - "I am free to do many other thing at the same time," should be "I am free to do many other things at the same time."

3. **Grammar and Clarity:**
   - "online payment can improve qualify life" should be "online payment can improve the quality of life".
   - "enhance life skills" could be better clarified with an example of how it enhances life skills.
   - "online payment can save a lot of troubleIn a word," should be revised to "online payment can save a lot of trouble. In conclusion,".
   - "I life can’t without it" should be "My life can't be without it" or "I can't live without it."

4. **Coherence and Flow:**
   - The essay can benefit from clearer transitions between points. For example, using connectors like "Moreover," or "Additionally," could help in connecting ideas smoothly.

**Overall Impression:**
The essay reflects a basic understanding of the task but requires more structured presentation and clarity in expressing ideas.

**Score:** Third Tier, 13-18 Points

You have mentioned some benefits of online payment but need to organize your ideas more clearly and correct grammatical issues to enhance understanding.
回复 打印

使用道具 举报

<
莫无言楼主 发表于 2024-10-27 11:54:48 | 显示全部楼层
陶果果 发表于 2024-10-27 11:53
Thank you for your submission. Here is the evaluation based on the provided criteria:

**Content Eva ...

可以用中文吗
回复 打印

使用道具 举报

<
陶果果 发表于 2024-10-27 11:54:56 | 显示全部楼层


当然可以!请随时用中文提问或交流。以下是对您作文的一些评语和建议:

**内容评价:**
- 文章提到了在线支付的一些优势,比如方便性和提高生活技能。
- 但是,关键点缺乏清晰的分隔和详细的阐述。如果能提供更具体的例子或解释,会让论点更有说服力。

**语言和语法评价:**
- 文章中存在一些语法错误,有些部分的结构也不够清晰。以下是一些修改建议:

1. **标点和空格:**
   - 标点符号后面应该有一个空格,例如“lives,some”应为“lives, some”。

2. **句子结构和用词:**
   - “From my point of view,I always think that online payment is very popular and trendy.” 可以改为“从我的角度来看,在线支付既流行又时尚”。
   - “I am free to do many other thing at the same time,” 应改为“I am free to do many other things at the same time.”。

3. **语法和清晰度:**
   - “online payment can improve qualify life” 应改为“online payment can improve the quality of life”。
   - “enhance life skills”可以通过举例更好地说明如何提升生活技能。
   - “online payment can save a lot of troubleIn a word,” 应改为“online payment can save a lot of trouble. In conclusion,”。
   - “I life can’t without it” 应改为“My life can't be without it”或者“I can't live without it”。

4. **连贯性和流畅性:**
   - 文章可以通过更清晰的过渡词来增强连贯性。例如,使用“此外”或“另外”可以更顺畅地连接观点。

**总体印象:**
这篇文章反映了对任务的基本理解,但在表达思想时需要更清晰的组织和正确的语法。

**评分:** 第三档次,13-18分

您提到了在线支付的一些优点,但需要更清晰地组织您的观点并纠正语法问题,以增强理解。希望这些建议对您有所帮助!如果还有其他问题,请随时告诉我。
回复 打印

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

本版积分规则

在线答疑
温馨提示

      由于近期经常有同学反馈添加我们客服QQ没有反应,如果您在添加我们QQ客服一直没有通过,或者发送的信息一直没有回复,有可能是QQ消息通知吞吐或延迟,建议添加我们的客服微信进行联系。

1. 已购买2025年4月备考资料包(含押题)的同学,注册账号后可联系我们开通作文批改、在线练习和有问必答系统免费使用权限。

2. 网站内含有其他科目学习资料,是需要另付购买的哈!

3、资料是一次购买,永久免费更新的(考前冲刺资料除外)。

4、如何在使用过程中有任何疑问,可与我们联系,我们唯一联系方式如下,建议添加我们客服微信,QQ经常有收不到消息与通知的情况。

微信号:13515663803 QQ号:2577233987

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表