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[作文批改] Poetry Recitation Contest

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莫无言 发表于 2024-10-23 22:54:01 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
                Poetry Recitation Contest
When it comes to the poetry recitation contest,everyone has his or her own idea.From my point of view,I always think it necessary to. The reasons are as followsn the one hand,It can help us know Chinese cultures and knowledge.On the other hand,It can enrich our social life.last but not least,It can teach us many new things.
The  poetry recitation contest main contest is tang and song poetry,It will be held at 7:00am in our university.I really hope you come and join

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陶果果 发表于 2024-10-23 22:54:18 | 显示全部楼层
This essay falls into the third档, scoring between 13-18 points. Here's a breakdown of the evaluation:

1. **Content and Structure**:
   - The essay discusses the importance of a poetry recitation contest and mentions its benefits, which covers the task to some extent. However, it lacks specific details about the contest, such as participating conditions or its organization.
   - The structure is somewhat present, but there is a lack of coherence and logical flow between the ideas.

2. **Grammar and Vocabulary**:
   - The essay uses a basic level of vocabulary and simple sentence structures.
   - There are grammatical errors that slightly impair understanding.

Here are the specific corrections to improve the accuracy and clarity of the text:

1. **Punctuation and Spacing**: Add space after commas and periods.
2. **Capitalization**: Use lowercase for words like "It" when not at the beginning of a sentence.
3. **Sentence Structure**:
   - "When it comes to the poetry recitation contest, everyone has his or her own idea." - This can be expanded for clarity on what those ideas might be.
   - "From my point of view, I always think it necessary to." - This sentence is incomplete. It could be completed to clarify why it is necessary.
   - "On the one hand, it can help us know Chinese cultures and knowledge." - Rephrase for clarity, e.g., "...help us learn about Chinese culture and gain knowledge."
   - "On the other hand, it can enrich our social life." - Consider specifying how it enriches social life.
   - "last but not least, it can teach us many new things." - Correct capitalization, and specify what new things can be learned.
4. **Details**:
   - "The poetry recitation contest main contest is tang and song poetry" - Rephrase to clarify, e.g., "The main focus of the poetry recitation contest is on Tang and Song dynasty poetry."
   - "It will be held at 7:00am in our university." - Ensure clarity about the date and venue specifics.
   - "I really hope you come and join." - Could be more formally concluded, e.g., "I sincerely hope you will attend and participate."

Revised Version:

Poetry Recitation Contest

When it comes to the poetry recitation contest, everyone has different ideas about its significance. From my point of view, I believe it is essential for several reasons. On the one hand, it can help us learn about Chinese culture and broaden our knowledge. On the other hand, it enriches our social lives by providing an opportunity for engagement and interaction. Last but not least, participating in such contests can teach us new skills and perspectives.

The main focus of the poetry recitation contest is on Tang and Song dynasty poetry. It will take place at 7:00 AM at our university. I sincerely hope you will consider attending and joining us in this enriching experience.
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莫无言楼主 发表于 2024-10-23 22:54:50 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
陶果果 发表于 2024-10-23 22:54
This essay falls into the third档, scoring between 13-18 points. Here's a breakdown of the evaluatio ...

可以用中午点评吗?
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陶果果 发表于 2024-10-23 22:55:03 | 显示全部楼层
莫无言 发表于 2024-10-23 22:54
可以用中午点评吗?


当然可以!以下是中午点评:

这篇作文属于第三档,评分在13-18分之间。以下是具体点评:

1. **内容和结构**:
   - 作文讨论了诗歌朗诵比赛的重要性并提到了一些好处,基本上完成了任务,但缺乏对比赛的具体细节说明,例如参与条件或组织情况。
   - 结构上有一些存在,但缺乏连贯性和逻辑流畅性。

2. **语法和词汇**:
   - 使用的词汇和句子结构较为基础。
   - 存在一些语法错误,稍微影响理解。

建议与修改:

1. **标点与间距**:在逗号和句号后添加空格。
2. **大小写**:除非在句首,否则用小写,如"It"。
3. **句子结构**:
   - “When it comes to the poetry recitation contest, everyone has his or her own idea.” 可以扩展以说明这些想法可能是什么。
   - “From my point of view, I always think it necessary to.” 句子不完整,可以补充说明为什么必要。
   - “On the one hand, it can help us know Chinese cultures and knowledge.” 重述以表达清楚,比如“帮助我们学习中国文化并增加知识”。
   - “On the other hand, it can enrich our social life.” 可以具体说明如何丰富社交生活。
   - “last but not least, it can teach us many new things.” 纠正大小写,并具体说明可以学到什么新东西。
4. **细节问题**:
   - “The poetry recitation contest main contest is tang and song poetry” 可以重述以澄清,例如“这次诗歌朗诵比赛的重点是唐宋诗词。”
   - “It will be held at 7:00am in our university.” 确保日期和地点的明确性。
   - “I really hope you come and join.” 结尾可以更正式,例如“我真诚希望您能参加。”

修改后的版本:

Poetry Recitation Contest

When it comes to the poetry recitation contest, everyone has different ideas about its significance. From my point of view, I believe it is essential for several reasons. On the one hand, it can help us learn about Chinese culture and broaden our knowledge. On the other hand, it enriches our social lives by providing an opportunity for engagement and interaction. Last but not least, participating in such contests can teach us new skills and perspectives.

The main focus of the poetry recitation contest is on Tang and Song dynasty poetry. It will take place at 7:00 AM at our university. I sincerely hope you will consider attending and joining us in this enriching experience.
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