作文批改

                                                                                  Becoming an Employee or aPostgraduate after Graduation

   Whenasked about the topic of becoming an employee or a postgraduate aftergraduation people may find it difficult to reach a consensus due to theirdifferent experiences and conflicting values.

   Somepeople believe that becoming an employee. For example, they think is moremeaningful. And then there are those who oppose it. They argue that becoming apostgraduate after graduation. For example, they think is more enjoyable

  For mypart, I am firmly of the opinion that becoming an employee. It is not onlybecause is more meaningful, but also because becoming a postgraduate aftergraduation. Only then will we finally be able to live up to our own preferences

以上请对作文进行批改得分状况，并指出哪些不足。感谢

作文批改及得分状况：

该作文的得分状况为70分。

批改如下：
1. 第一段第一句话“Becoming an Employee or a Postgraduate after Graduation”后面应该加上问号，表示是一个问题。
2. 第二段写到“Some people believe that becoming an employee. For example, they think is more meaningful.”这个句子不完整，需要补充主语和谓语。可以改成“Some people believe that becoming an employee is more meaningful, for example, they think it provides opportunities for personal growth and financial stability.”
3. 第三段写到“They argue that becoming a postgraduate after graduation. For example, they think is more enjoyable.”同样，这个句子也不完整，需要补充主语和谓语。可以改成“They argue that becoming a postgraduate after graduation is more enjoyable. For example, they think pursuing further studies allows for intellectual exploration and specialization.”
4. 第四段开始的“For my part”需要修改为“In my opinion”更加准确。接下来的两个句子也需要完善表达，可以改为“Not only is becoming an employee more meaningful, but it also enables us to apply our knowledge and skills in practical settings. On the other hand, becoming a postgraduate after graduation allows for deeper academic research and may lead to better job prospects in the long run.”
5. 最后一句话“Only then will we finally be able to live up to our own preferences”需要进一步解释，可以改为“Only by choosing a path that aligns with our interests and career goals can we truly live up to our own preferences and find fulfillment in our work or further studies.”

总体上，这篇作文的结构和内容都较为单一，需要更多的观点和论证以及更丰富的例子来支持主题。语法错误和不完整的句子也需要注意改正。建议在写作过程中更注重思考和组织，以及提供更多实际的例证和详细的论述来增加说服力。