Starting from Ourselves to Save Electricity

短文写作(30分)
请根据所提供材料中的要求完成一篇100词左右的英文写作任务。将你的答案写在答题纸相应的位置上。

某英文报社正在举办题为"Starting from Ourselves to Save Electricity"的征文活动。请你根据下述写作要点提交一篇英文短文应征，内容包括：
当前我国电力资源短缺
如何从小事做起，节约用电

Starting from Ourselves to Save Electricity

  I spend a lot of time interviewing older people in starting from ourselves to save electricity on their lives.  One of the most important messages they have for youngerpeople is to travel-and to do it now.An old woman once told me that among the most regretful elders she knows are thosewho put off travel until it was too starting from ourselves to save electricity she almost made if it had not been for herhusband. So, here’s a clear opportunity to avoid a future regret: travel in your first 30 years, whileyou have time and energy. This starting from ourselves to save electricity from some of the elders who delayed traveluntil it was too late. With asad look in her eyes,I can hear some people saying: That's all well and good, but how can we afford it? Theelders counter that argument by saying that starting from ourselves to save electricity is so rewarding that it should takeprecedence over other things younger people spend money on. The key is travel's starting from ourselves to save electricity for the young, it broadens their horizons, helps them to find a focus for their lives.and challenges them in new ways.

【总体评分】：5 / 30分  
【所属档次】：第五档（1-6分）  

【内容要点反馈】  

优点：  
- 文中提到了一些节约资源的重要性和年轻人需要在早年旅行的观点，这些内容对于扩展个人视野具有一定启发性。

问题：  
- 作文未能紧扣题目“Starting from Ourselves to Save Electricity”的主题，未涉及我国电力资源短缺的现状，也未提供具体的节约用电的方法。  

【篇章结构】  

优点：  
- 无明显优点。  

问题：  
- 整体结构混乱，无明确的引入、正文和结尾部分。  
- 缺乏逻辑性，内容跳跃，句子之间缺乏适当的衔接。  

【语言运用（语法、词汇）】  

优点：  
- 使用了一些较为复杂的句式。  

问题：  
- 文章中反复出现的短语“starting from ourselves to save electricity”使用不当且无意义，与上下文不符。  
- 出现了一些基本的语法错误，例如“the most regretful elders she knows are thosewho put off travel until it was too starting from ourselves to save electricity she almost made if it had not been for herhusband.”这句话结构混乱且不完整。  

【语言准确性（拼写、标点、字数）】  

问题：  
- 文章拼写和标点错误频繁，影响理解。
- 字数偏多，但与主题不符，未达成题目要求的内容。  

**修改建议：**

1. 明确主题: 紧扣“节约用电从我做起”，明确介绍我国电力资源短缺的现状。
2. 提供实用方法: 列举日常生活中的具体节电措施，例如关闭不用的灯具、使用节能电器等。
3. 改善结构: 引言介绍背景，正文提出措施，结尾总结并呼吁大家行动。
4. 检查语言表达: 避免重复短语，确保句子流畅且有意义。