邮件

Dear Mike

I am sorry to hear that you are not well there days.so I am writing to tell you how keep health

There are mainly there for my suggestsn the one hand,you should keep good diet,such as eating more vegetables and thunk more hot water.On the other hand, you should spend eight hours to exercise,such as playing basketball,walking,running,swimming.last but not least,you should keep a good sleep,it can help you relax and reduce pressure.I hope these suggests that it can help you

I look forwarding to hearing from you

Best regards

Li Ke

Dear Li Ke,

Thank you for your submission. Below is the evaluation of your essay according to the provided scoring principles and standards.

**Score: 12 (Fourth档)**

**Evaluation:**

Your email addresses some important content points regarding health advice, but there are several significant issues with grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure which affect overall clarity and understanding.

**Grammar and Language Errors:**

1. "Dear MikeI am sorry..." should be "Dear Mike, I am sorry..."
   - **Correction:** Add a comma after "Mike" and a space between "Mike" and "I".

2. "...you are not well there days."
   - **Correction:** "...you are not well these days."

3. "tell you how keep health."
   - **Correction:** "tell you how to keep healthy."

4. "There are mainly there for my suggests:"
   - **Correction:** "Here are my suggestions:"

5. "on the one hand,you should keep good diet,"
   - **Correction:** "On one hand, you should maintain a good diet,"

6. "thunk more hot water."
   - **Correction:** "drink more hot water."

7. "spend eight hours to exercise,"
   - **Correction:** "spend time exercising,"

8. Incorrect use of "hours" in context; eight hours is excessive for daily exercise.
   - **Suggestion:** Consider recommending a reasonable amount of time, such as "at least 30 minutes."

9. "last but not least,you should keep a good sleep,"
   - **Correction:** "Last but not least, you should get good sleep,"

10. "I hope these suggests that it can help you"
    - **Correction:** "I hope these suggestions can help you."

11. "I look forwarding to hearing from youBest regardsLi Ke"
    - **Correction:** "I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Li Ke."

**Recommendations for Improvement:**

- Pay attention to punctuation, especially the use of commas and periods.
- Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct word usage.
- Provide clear and concise sentences to enhance understanding.

Your message has potential, but focusing on correcting these errors will improve its clarity and effectiveness.

陶果果 发表于 2024-10-27 11:05
Dear Li Ke,

Thank you for your submission. Below is the evaluation of your essay according to the p ...

可以用中文点评吗

莫无言 发表于 2024-10-27 11:05
可以用中文点评吗

当然可以！以下是对您的作文的中文点评：

**评分：12分（第四档）**

**评价：**

您的邮件涉及了一些重要的健康建议内容，但在语法、词汇和句子结构上存在若干明显问题，影响了整体的清晰度和理解。

**语法和语言错误：**

1. "Dear MikeI am sorry..." 应为 "Dear Mike, I am sorry..."
   - **修改：** 在 "Mike" 后添加逗号，并在 "Mike" 和 "I" 之间加一个空格。

2. "...you are not well there days."
   - **修改：** "...you are not well these days."

3. "tell you how keep health."
   - **修改：** "tell you how to keep healthy."

4. "There are mainly there for my suggests:"
   - **修改：** "Here are my suggestions:"

5. "on the one hand,you should keep good diet,"
   - **修改：** "On one hand, you should maintain a good diet,"

6. "thunk more hot water."
   - **修改：** "drink more hot water."

7. "spend eight hours to exercise,"
   - **修改：** "spend time exercising,"

8. 上下文中 "hours" 的使用不当；每天八小时运动过于夸张。
   - **建议：** 考虑推荐合理的时间，例如 "at least 30 minutes."

9. "last but not least,you should keep a good sleep,"
   - **修改：** "Last but not least, you should get good sleep,"

10. "I hope these suggests that it can help you"
    - **修改：** "I hope these suggestions can help you."

11. "I look forwarding to hearing from youBest regardsLi Ke"
    - **修改：** "I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Li Ke."

**改进建议：**

- 注意标点符号的使用，尤其是逗号和句号。
- 确保主谓一致并正确使用单词。
- 提供清晰简洁的句子以增强理解力。

您的信息很有潜力，但如果您能完善这些错误，将会提高其清晰度和有效性。