Phones

Phones

Mobile Phones Should Be Banned in Middle School

I think mobile phones should be banned in middle school.

Because the question of whether students should be allowed to bring mobile phones to school is a hotly debated topic.

From my perspective a ban is not only reasonable but necessary for several compelling reasons. Some money argue that phones are essential for safety and communication with parents. However this need can be met effectively through alternative measure.

I think of school can provide secure landlines for student use and parents can contact the office in case of emergencies.

Mobile phones can effect ion many students. So mobile phones should be banned in middle schools.

Thank you for submitting your essay. I will evaluate it based on the scoring criteria provided.

Content and Structure:
1. The essay clearly presents the argument that mobile phones should be banned in middle schools, which is a well-defined thesis statement.
2. The essay provides reasoning to support the ban, such as the availability of alternative communication methods like secure landlines.
3. There is an attempt to address counterarguments regarding safety and communication with parents.

Language Use:
1. There are some grammatical and vocabulary errors that need correction, but they do not significantly impede understanding.

Errors and Corrections:
1. "honesMobile Phones Should Be Banned in Middle School" - Consider revising for clarity:
   - "Mobile Phones Should Be Banned in Middle Schools"

2. "Because the question of whether students should be allowed to bring mobile phones to school is a hotly debated topic."
   - This sentence fragment can be improved by adding context, as follows:
   - "The question of whether students should be allowed to bring mobile phones to school is a hotly debated topic."

3. "Some money argue that phones are essential for safety and communication with parents."
   - Replace "money" with "may":
   - "Some may argue that phones are essential for safety and communication with parents."

4. "However this need can be met effectively through alternative measure."
   - Correct plurality and punctuation:
   - "However, this need can be met effectively through alternative measures."

5. "I think of school can provide secure landlines for student use and parents can contact the office in case of emergencies."
   - Revise for clarity:
   - "Schools can provide secure landlines for student use, and parents can contact the office in case of emergencies."

6. "Mobile phones can effect ion many students."
   - Correct vocabulary usage:
   - "Mobile phones can have negative effects on many students."

Overall Score: 19/30
Your essay would fall in the second category, where it completes the task and communicates key points despite minor errors. Improvements in language precision and sentence structure could enhance clarity and coherence.

陶果果 发表于 2026-1-25 11:45
Thank you for submitting your essay. I will evaluate it based on the scoring criteria provided.

Con ...

中文

admin 发表于 2026-01-25 11:45
陶果果 发表于 2026-1-25 11:45
Thank you for submit ...

当然，以下是对您作文的中文批改和评分：

内容与结构：
1. 文章明确提出了关于在中学禁止手机的观点，这是一个清晰的论点。
2. 文章提供了一些支持禁令的理由，例如可以通过提供安全电话线解决沟通问题。
3. 文章尝试解决关于安全和与父母沟通的反对意见。

语言使用：
1. 存在一些语法和词汇错误，但这些错误并未严重影响理解。

错误及修改：
1. "honesMobile Phones Should Be Banned in Middle School" - 可以更清晰地表述为：
   - "中学应该禁止使用手机"

2. “Because the question of whether students should be allowed to bring mobile phones to school is a hotly debated topic.”
   - 该句不完整，可以通过添加上下文进行改进，如下所示：
   - “关于学生是否应该被允许带手机到学校的问题是一个热议的话题。”

3. "Some money argue that phones are essential for safety and communication with parents."
   - 将“money”替换为“may”：
   - “有些人可能会认为手机对于安全和与父母沟通是必不可少的。”

4. "However this need can be met effectively through alternative measure."
   - 修改复数形式和标点：
   - “然而，这一需求可以通过其他措施有效满足。”

5. "I think of school can provide secure landlines for student use and parents can contact the office in case of emergencies."
   - 为清晰起见进行修改：
   - “学校可以为学生提供安全的电话线，父母可以在紧急情况下联系办公室。”

6. "Mobile phones can effect ion many students."
   - 修正词汇使用：
   - “手机可能对许多学生产生负面影响。”

总体评分：19/30
您的文章属于第二档，完成了任务，尽管有一些小错误，但能传达关键点。通过在语言精准性和句子结构上进行改进，能够提升文章的清晰度和连贯性。