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[作文批改] hobby

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无妄 发表于 2024-9-19 19:21:55 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
It is well known that having a hobby is very important in our lives. As a matter of fact, no one can live without a hobby. Why do I say that? In reality, if people have a hobby, they will feel happiness. When they are in a bind, a hobby can help them get out quickly.

As for me, my hobby is reading books. Here are some reasons. First, reading books can teach me much knowledge and experience. Second, reading books can feed my brain and spirit. Third, reading books can enhance my sense of happiness.

So, I love reading books very much. As a result, I think reading books is very meaningful.

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陶果果 发表于 2024-9-19 19:22:04 | 显示全部楼层
评分:22分(第二档)

这篇作文完整地完成了试题规定的任务,清楚地表达了全部内容要点。运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的基本要求,语言运用基本正确,虽然有一些小错误,但不影响理解。

语法和表达的主要问题如下:

1. "having a hobby is very important in our lives" 可以改成 "having a hobby is very important for everyone."
2. "As a matter of fact, no one can live without a hobby." 这里用词过于绝对,可以改为 "It can be said that having a hobby greatly enriches our lives."
3. "In reality, if people have a hobby, they will feel happiness." 这句话可以更自然地表达为 "In reality, having a hobby can bring people happiness."
4. "When they are in a bind, a hobby can help them get out quickly." 这句话可以改为 "When people are in a difficult situation, a hobby can help them relieve stress and improve their mood."

修改后的作文如下:

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It is well known that having a hobby is very important for everyone. It can be said that having a hobby greatly enriches our lives. Why do I say that? In reality, having a hobby can bring people happiness. When people are in a difficult situation, a hobby can help them relieve stress and improve their mood.

As for me, my hobby is reading books. Here are some reasons. First, reading books can teach me much knowledge and experience. Second, reading books can feed my brain and spirit. Third, reading books can enhance my sense of happiness.

So, I love reading books very much. As a result, I think reading books is very meaningful.
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这篇作文在表达上基本流畅,也清楚地展示了作者的观点和理由,只是有一些小错误,需要稍作调整以使语言更自然流畅。
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