作文批改

                                My favorite job
          I am a fitness trainer，and it's my favorite job.In the past, I was very lazy and did not exercise for a long time.This made me fat, and often tired and tired.But when I finished a workout with my fitness trainer, I not only gained the ideal body, but could easily focus on completing the trivia in life.I benefit from exercising every day, and I call on everyone to exercise every day.So I got the fitness coach certificate, and teaching others to exercise became my daily work.
       Exercise is good for our physical and mental.healthy.Firstly,keeping exercise every day can produces a lot of dopamine, which cans regulate our mood and make us feel happy and positive.Secondly,keeping exercise every day can burn a few of calories, which allows us to maintain our weight and be in good shape.Thirdly, keeping exercise ever day can improve the quality of our sleep.A good sleep can improve our memory and focus.
         Follow me (a fitness trainer) to exercise every day! This can really make a huge difference in your life!When I saw my students smiling happily as they achieved their goals, I loved my fitness coach even more.I will make efforts to do well my favorite job：fitness trainer. 请帮忙评分，以及评分标准。

评分：8/10

评分标准：
1. 文章内容和结构合理，有明确的主题和观点。
2. 语法和拼写准确，句子通顺，表达清晰。
3. 描述个人经历和感受生动具体，增强了文章的可信度和说服力。
4. 使用了一些连接词和过渡词，使文章的逻辑流畅。
5. 对于锻炼的好处进行了简单介绍，但可以更详细地展开。
6. 最后呼吁读者跟随自己进行锻炼，激发了读者兴趣和行动性。

建议改进：
1. 文章中存在少量的语法错误和拼写错误，需要仔细检查和修改。
2. 可以加入一些更具体的例子或者数据来支持自己的观点和描述，让文章更有说服力。
3. 在对锻炼的好处进行介绍时，可以展开一些相关的方面，如强调运动与健康的关系、对身心健康的影响等。
4. 结尾部分可以再加入一些鼓励和激励读者的语言，增加互动性和吸引力。